My America . . . My Delusions

Posted: December 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

I’ve always considered myself a patriot. I love my country. I love the I have all these amazing freedoms, writing this blog for example. But over the years I’ve witnessed and read so much that makes my stomach turn. Mostly when it involves what I think America should be. To me my America is free of racism and prejudice. We don’t segregate people because of their skin color, or because that particular race has some bad people. Islamist terrorists were responsible for the 9/11 attacks, but that doesn’t mean all people in the Middle East are terrorists. The Nazi party was responsible for WWII, but that doesn’t mean that all German’s are genocidal madmen. We’ve grown as a country and we’ve grown as human beings. We’ve gone from the old west where we could shoot a man free and clear for looking at you wrong, or cheating at cards to wiping out nations with nuclear weapons.Yes, as we grow in technology so does violence. But what makes me sick and what makes me want to blast certain individuals off the face of the planet is when they complain about missing a tv show because of national coverage of a tragedy. I was in high school on 9/11. I sat in my history class (ironically) and listened to the other students around me pissed off because they missed American Idol or Moesha. You missed those shows because for the the first time in three generations was American attacked on home turf. History was made that day. History was made on April 20, 1999 when two screwed up teens murdered 13 people and injured 21 others. History was made on May 2, 2011 when the world was informed that America had done what we set out to do, we eliminated Osama Bin Laden. History was again made on December 14, 2012 when a very disturbed young man went into an elementary school and murdered 27 people. It’s sad that we do this to ourselves. It’s sad we have to be at war because of our differences. But I swear that those of you who got pissed off because President Obama interrupted your football game because he was speaking to the families of those affected by the tragedy that happened in Connecticut in a news conference make me sick. You should all be forced to live the most tragic day of your life over and over again for every ounce of blood that was shed, for every minute that the president was on air, for every tear that was dropped from across the United States so you can understand what the difference is between the 24 minutes and 57 seconds the President took up of your time, to the years of hurt and anguish these families will endure for the rest for there lives. In my America this wouldn’t have happened. In my America people would have more respect. I may be delusional but I don’t care, I will always, always believe in the good of man. It’s those few that need to take a step back and reevaluate their lives.

Cover Music – Cover Shame

Posted: December 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

There are a number of musicians out there with some talent. They practice their instruments and their vocals day an night to create the perfect song. Many of them are cover artists. I like some cover music. If you plan on doing the song justice then by all means give it a new spin. But I swear if some of you actually thought about going out on the street and asking people what they really thought you might want to practice a little more or give in. I am not the best musician in the world. I can’t sing very well and as for being a drummer, I haven’t practiced in years. If I had the thought about making a living off of what I can do currently I’d probably starve. Here’s the thing, though. I swear to the man upstairs that if one more friggin’ person decides to cover Landslide by Fleetwood Mac I may commit homicide. That group had a number of great hits, try that on for size! Here’s another observation. My favorite thing to do while I’m bored is go see impersonators. I can’t handle any type of impersonator. Elvis, Prince, AC/DC, Neil Diamond are all fantastic artists. I can’t comprehend what went wrong in this persons life where they stopped doing their day to day lives and become someone else. That’s what I want to be known for, impersonating someone else! As an Entertainment Coordinator I’ve had my fair share of dealings with these gems. Many of them are so delusional that they really do believe they are who they set out to impersonate! I’ve met a man who had hair implants to look like Neil Diamond. I’ve known the most amazing white man that was an awesome Sammy Davis Jr. I’ve even heard these people threaten to leave a show because these divas aren’t happy with conditions. Let me just end this by saying what I would always tell some of the entertainers that gave the Entertainment Department shit where I worked, “You mean you’re the only Elvis impersonator in Vegas?”

Amazing Social Experiments!

Posted: July 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

It is my firm belief that the flashlight causes amnesia. I know what you are thinking, is it because the light can cause seizures? Or a quick flash of the light has neural effects on certain parts of the brain? No. Believe it or not it’s much more  simple and yet more complex than that. Let’s to an experiment shall we? Sure Mr. Wizard!! 

For this experiment all you need is a flashlight. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Now take said flashlight and set it anywhere in your house, your friends house, a party, or even work. Next step is to set the flashlight down anywhere where someone will see it. Example: a coworkers desk is perfect. Placement is key. They have to see it. Right in front of their keyboard is a good spot. Now, walk away. Make sure that you are nowhere near the coworker or their desk bit are still within a good spot so you can see them. As soon as the coworker notices the flashlight observe how they pick the flashlight up as if they have never in their life held a flashlight and witness the the beginning of the amnesia. They examine the flashlight. This strange and foreign object. And now the magic happens. They turn it in. Some people go as far as shining the light directly in their face. More specifically their eyes. Boom. Realization kicks back in. Yes. This strange cylinder is of course a flashlight. 

It is an amazing social experiment. It’s funny alone to watch the cave man discover fire for the first time but if you want an even better reaction set a trick flashlight out using the same steps but this time the flashlight instead of shining a light zaps the poor fool who tries turning it on. 

It maybe because I’m getting older but I feel myself becoming more bitter. I was at Walmart a place I have very little patience for and I have the overwhelming urge to ram my cart into every single little kid that is screaming or running around or constantly saying “Mom Mom Mom buy me this! Mom. Mom. Mom!” It’s enough to make me want to blow up a Chuck E. Cheese’s!! And if our society isn’t bad enough about customer service they all have self check out lines that are simply pointless because 9 out of 10 times you still need someone to come over and help you because the damn machine locks up because you chose NOT TO BAG your fucking dog food. Pardon my language. And if it weren’t bad enough I hate the way the guy at the self check out line bags my groceries. Gas stations and gas pumps Pisa me off too. How hard is it to pull your car forward enough so that someone can pull in behind you and pump gas too?! I’ve even filled my tank up at places that I kid you not have the prices on the sign that read an amount for cash transitions and a higher price for credit card transactions!! How is that legal? How many of you remember free air pumps at gas stations or at most 25 cents to use it. Not anymore. No those damn thongs cost a dollar. I don’t know about you but I don’t normally carry a dollar on quarters with me everywhere I go just for emergencies!! My postman doesn’t walk door to door like every normal mailman in the entire flipping world. No. This lazy bastard rides around in his truck going from house to house dropping mail off. Even worse. He sent me a notice that I had to pick up about three days worth of mail because I parked my car too close to the mailbox and he had to GET OUT OF HIS truck to put my mail in my mailbox. Whatever happened to their motto “Neither rain, nor sleet, or dead of night shall keep these postmen from their appointed rounds”? Well apparently heat is different for them. Granted I wouldn’t want to be walking around in the heat but I sure as hell do not want to be walking around in the cold either. But that’s their job. Call me old fashion. The trash man and me had issues. They have this truck with a large mechanical arm that reaches out and lifts the can to dump the trash in the back. Cool right? Not really because their is a weight limit in a TRASH CAN and refused to pick my trash up for a week. They also refused to pick up my trash once because the lid in the top did not close all the way. The electric company won’t let me go inside to pay my bill because I in my infinite wisdom forgot to pay the bill once so they were gouge to shut my service off for $60. I scrounged up every penny nickel and dime I could find to pay the bill. Probably about $23 in change plus bills I took down to the electric company to pay my delinquent account. The pain in the ass people there refused to take my change because they don’t accept that much change. It is my belief that in America we have currency that includes change and as such that change is to be accepted as a form of currency to pay for goods and services. They told me to go find a coinstar machine to cash my change in. I had the exact amount to be paid and were I to go to a coinstar they would take 7 cents on the dollar out for using that machine. Now does that make sense (insert pun). So after making a scene they accepted my change and told me I was not allowed to come in to pay my bill anymore. I swear that society is so fickle and relentless I just want to set the world on fire starting with all the damn people who make these policies and procedures up. One person at a time. 

Recent studies have shown that, and this may come as no surprise, but cell phones are dangerous and that they may in fact cause cancer and brain damage. Shocker! See the thing is apparently cell phones emit a radio-frequency that can slowly affect the brain. radio-frequency energy is a form of non-ionizing electromagnetic radiation; exposure depends upon the technology of the phone, distance between the phone’s antenna and the user, the extent and type of use, and distance of the user from base stations. It’s a lot of mumbo jumbo but it makes you think doesn’t it. Well, here is MY beef with these studies.

above is a before and after picture of a person. It shows this gentleman before he used his cellphone and after he used it. So ok, lets now dissect this shall we. What you are seeing is a heat signature of that man. His normal body temperature is shown on the left and then over on the right, after he is done using the cellphone his head is much more heated. Lets take into consideration the length of the phone call. How long was he talking? Most cellphones after an extended amount of use heat up, correct? And then as a person is using that portion of the body (the ear) more, the more it is heated up. It takes more energy and focus for a person to use a cellphone than it does to chew a piece of bubble gum. That is a fact!

 

 

 

 

But the use of the cellphone has changed. Calling someone is almost a thing of the past when texting comes to mind. 75% of Americans are texting as opposed to calling. Does that reduce the risk of said cancer? Or does it merely cause cancer in another part of the body. People carry their phones in many different places. A person who has a belt clip, is he at risk for kidney cancer? Or my daughter. She puts her phone in her back pocket. Will that give he rectal cancer? I know that these observations shouldn’t be taken seriously, but what today isn’t good for us? Eggs were bad and now they are good. Except we should only eat the whites. Deep frying foods is bad, but the people (my parents and grandparents) who were using lard to deep fry chicken in a pan growing up seem to live longer than the average joe watching his carbs. Enjoy life, do what you want and don’t get freaked out over the little things. We are all going to die someday. Wouldn’t you rather die from something or nothing at all? Just because you live a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean that when that bus ran your ass over he should have swerved because you didn’t eat red meat. We are gonna die on the day we were supposed to die. It’ll happen that’s not gonna change. So, don’t sweat the small stuff. Use your cellphone. Make that call. the radiation emitted from a cell phone is minimal to the radiation produced by a microwave in our own homes. I just have one question though, I drive with my cellphone between my legs. Will that give me testicle cancer?

Hollywood Helps Hate

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

I guess I grew up in a good time. I don’t mean economically but many of my generations upbringing came from some of the best Saturday morning cartoons. I grew up initially watching the original Bugs Bunny cartoons. The original Tom and Jerry. How many of you remember Speedy Gonzalez? Now think about this. When was the last time you saw Speedy? Or when was the last time you heard him speak? Well with the changes in out times we now have more sensitive people out there who claim Speedy is a racial symbol and it offends Hispanics. Let me ask you friends, when you were little and you were watching those cartoons, who even paid any attention to his ethnicity. Was Daffy in the dame situation? He was a black duck with a lisp!! Shit call the media!!! Jump ahead a few years and now we have the invention of Cartoon Network. Cartoons of our parents past were being rebroadcasted. The Smurfs, The Snorks, The Perils of Penelope Pitstop, The Pink Panther. These were the original cartoons brought back to us through cartoon network.  But as we got older those cartoons weren’t funny by the days standards. Even considered racist. So they reinvent the shows with cheap animation and new politically correct jokes that are so dumbed down Lenny from Of Mice and Men would think were stupid. And now that my generation is either in or entering out 30’s we have these old cartoons being reinvented once again as a movie. The Smurfs have been created digitally and will star in a new movie coming out this summer. And as I watched the previews I saw who was doing some of the Smurfs voices. Jonathan Winters a great comedic genius is doing Papa Smurfs voice. I can get in board with that. And then I see George Lopez. A Hispanic comedian who uses racial innuendoes and slurs to poke fun of his race. Because when it’s coming from him apparently it’s funny. And then I think back to Speedy Gonzalez. And Warner Bros. decision to slowly do away with Speedy. I find there to be a large degree of conflict. So, when did the Smurfs become Hispanic? I had a large number of jokes that I refuse to play into. Hollywood does what they can to recreate childhood memories and bring them to the big screen. And then totally destroy those memories with one large budget film. GI Joe was my favorite cartoon. I had the comic books the toys even posters on my wall. And then Stephen Somers came out with his came out with his waste of time and money that did so bad it warrants them to make a damn sequel!!!! Why? That movie seriously offended my childhood and my patriotism. GI Joe is the REAL American Hero. American! And what does Hollywood do to sell the movie internationally? They make Joe an international agency where half the main heroes are from other nations. Not too long ago when they were planning on doing the Captain America movie they had the audacity to suggest Will Smith or a foreign actor to play the title role. Now with Superman going into production the new Superman is being played by an English actor. Truth Justice and the American way. Hollywood helps us hate the world today. Destroying our childhoods. Changing the way things have been and worked just fine. We have a voice. We have the power. Speak out against these travesties. Hollywood has to listen. If they don’t listen we don’t see the movies. And they don’t make money. And what happens then? They step up and make the movies the cartoons and the shows that we know and love and stop raping our childhoods. 

With the advancements in computers and cellphone over the past decade many people have come to discover that it is obvious that technology is also a hindrance. Take radio and DJs. With the ability to prerecord days in advance there is no need for an actual DJ at most radio stations. Everything can be built on a playlist with commercials inserted and set on a timer to play when ready. Those of us who are entering our 30’s are amongst the last of us that remember when the DJ on the radio played the top hits but also a number of songs he liked. Our parents can tell you about listening to the B side of an album on the radio. Hell we are probably the last people that can remember when MTV and VH1 were nothing but constant music videos and genre fitting shows like Head Bangers Ball. Dave TV!! But that’s gone by the wayside to reality shows and hasbeen actors and actresses in rehab. The radio is more or less a loss. I spent sometime working at a radio station and I can tell you that freedom of choice is gone. The station mandates that certain songs have to be play within a certain time frame. That’s why many “free” radio stations seem to have a limited selection of music. And when they say that this is the throwback hour, typically there is a list of songs that can be played. There is no room for the DJ to play something he might want to hear. Being a DJ in a night club is almost the last form of free DJing. The DJ knows he must play what the people want. But he can also throw in the curve ball song that people love and haven’t heard in a while. Being a DJ isn’t just about the people. They get burnt out on songs too. We all need variety. A good friend DJ Sugarcube has been in the business for 25 plus years. He performed the Pure nightclub in Las Vegas with the Vegas Pussycat Dolls. And has bounced all over spinning the proverbial records for hundreds and thousands of people. But with the advancements in technology and the invention of the DJ software Serato any kid with an iPod thinks they are a DJ. And unfortunately the club and bar owners have caught on to this. However if the DJ knows what he is doing he can use that software to the max of it’s capabilities and do what no kid with TapDJ on their iPhone can do. In a sense I think DJing is more than just matching beats and mixing music. It’s about reading the crowd. Building their adrenaline up and bringing it back down. The DJ controls you. How you feel. Your emotions and your lust. Bringing it down to the dirty a DJ is what gets women and men alike in the mood to make love. Be passionate. Get drunk and have a good time. In a night club or bar the DJ and the bartender are the gods and we are the pawns to do and think at their will. But times are changing. And that DJ is a very rare breed. We all need to support live entertainment. Not the jukebox. Most of us may be too blind to see it but video did kill the radio star. And the iPod did kill the DJ.